Friday, November 24, 2006

Black Friday

Today is the day that everyone has been waiting for. Everyone went to sleep last night at a leisurely 8 o’clock, with stomachs stuffed with pumpkin pie and turkey, to prepare for the havoc that has already broken forth today. Sadly, I am not a participant (I have an appointment to get an ingrown toenail cut out, hey; someone has to make sure the hospitals make a profit to right?) However, the thing I’m sure of is that at 5:00 this morning, all hell broke loose in what is known as consumer and retail heaven: Black Friday. Black Friday gets it’s name because the day after thanksgiving is generally the day that puts retailers out of debt (the red) and into their profit margins (the black) thus: Black Friday. Here are just a few of the things that might be making stores go black today.

Xbox 360 – Remember that other console…? That one that people can still buy… yeah, that’s the one.

The new Tickle Me Elmo – For some reason people still buy this confounded thing year after year…you can get the same responses from a newborn-child. And those are a lot easier and more fun to get.

Gift Cards – For some reason, people go to the store early to get some great gifts, realize that they are already sold out, and buy gift cards…

Notice, the PS3 and Wii are not on this list. The only people they’re making money for is people selling them on Ebay.

My favorite part of Black Friday is the fact that you can watch on the news people fighting over “must have” items. And it’s sort of funny really. These people want to save an extra 10% on an item that they could just buy next week, and then they end up paying a couple of grand in hospital expenses because they broke their nose fighting over said item. Of course, none of that really matters because all of it’s on a credit card that they’re never going to pay off anyway. Gotta love America!

Myself, I think I’m going shopping tomorrow…

~ The Wonder Waffle

Letterman rocked black friday oh it was so great no I mean great I gave a big huge smile. I got flash drives, a deep fryer (wonderwaffle we will soon commence deep frying experimetns, a blender, a hard drive some 1 gig disks, a black eye i got from the guy from the labeler. Laughs at the people waiting in the best buy line that went aroudn the store and half way into the next store overs parking lot. A lot less sleep then I should have. The mad rush into stapples. If you were not at some shot gun start this morning I do piddy you.
~Letterman

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Top Ten Things Letterman is Thankful For

This years list as follows

10. The local News at Nine- That way I can watch the news at nine and when ten o'clock rolls around I am all freed up to watch oh yeah the news on every other network

9. The Nintendo Wii- Now we are letting even the most lazy overweight video game addicted kids feel quardinated and sporty

8. Thousands of shades of off white- White is no longer just white anymore now you pick the white that matches the room the best opposed to white

7. Hypothetical numbers- I am very glad we pay mathematicians millions of dollars a year to calculate hypothetical numbers . You know what we are able to do with those hypothetical numbers- calculate more hypothetical numbers

6. The Daily Beef- just kidding I am not thankful for that
the real 6. People who spray milk out of their nose when they laugh- Where else would 4th grade boys find comedy

5. Freak Shows- so always remember how disgusting humans really are.

4. Antique Lamps- SO we have another barometer on how to look down on others

3. Carpeted bathrooms- Where else would we grow new diseases to study and you go to just love the feel

2. Ghost Whisperer- Hey Jennifer Love Hewet needs to work some where to

1. Pizza Places that are open on Thanksgiving- For when you inevitably ruin the turkey

~Letterman

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

Monday, November 20, 2006

People who hate life

I'd say the most "life hating" thing you can do is conduct a "socialogical experiment". We all live in society, we all experiance society. We don't need someone to tell us what exactly society does in a situation. It doesn't matter. Because if we ever end up in a situation where we would need to know what society would do in said situation, we will already know because that would be reacting to the situation in real time. I think that was a run-on sentance. Oh well, TDB's never been known for being correct. About anything really... (Letterman says this was unfunny and garbage)

In other news, the Wii launched today. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure there aren't going to be any riots about this one. Every Best Buy store had at least 15 units, and although they may or may not have sold out their launch shipment today, Wii's will definately not be fetching two grand on ebay.

Yeah, after a long night of gaming, this Waffle's pooped.

~ The Wonder Waffle

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef