Top Ten Things Letterman is Thankful For

This years list as follows

10. The local News at Nine- That way I can watch the news at nine and when ten o'clock rolls around I am all freed up to watch oh yeah the news on every other network

9. The Nintendo Wii- Now we are letting even the most lazy overweight video game addicted kids feel quardinated and sporty

8. Thousands of shades of off white- White is no longer just white anymore now you pick the white that matches the room the best opposed to white

7. Hypothetical numbers- I am very glad we pay mathematicians millions of dollars a year to calculate hypothetical numbers . You know what we are able to do with those hypothetical numbers- calculate more hypothetical numbers

6. The Daily Beef- just kidding I am not thankful for that
the real 6. People who spray milk out of their nose when they laugh- Where else would 4th grade boys find comedy

5. Freak Shows- so always remember how disgusting humans really are.

4. Antique Lamps- SO we have another barometer on how to look down on others

3. Carpeted bathrooms- Where else would we grow new diseases to study and you go to just love the feel

2. Ghost Whisperer- Hey Jennifer Love Hewet needs to work some where to

1. Pizza Places that are open on Thanksgiving- For when you inevitably ruin the turkey

~Letterman

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