Hiatus

We're putting this on hiatus for a little while because no one reads the Xanga blog, much less the Blogspot one. We....might be back.

~ The Wonder Waffle

TDB Gift Exchange

I think we should do every other offfice has a gift exchange why not the TDB
I could get thewonderwaffle some syrup. Tasty mapply syrup. And a toaster so I can make.... waffles.... and enjoy them with warm syrup on a cold day.

NO wait I mean-
I mean I just think we should spread some holiday cheer. Not that we are less cheery than some folk just that... I don't know I think it would be nice maybe...

Why do we give presents I mean it just makes kids greety for more and more. IN order to find the perfect gift we stress our selves way way out and end up needing anti depressents to deal with it.

Yeah you know what screw you wonderwaffle stop being greedy and trying to get your hands on my Letterman like fortune. I will not shower you in presents

~Letterman

p.s. maybe we could do this

"'Tis the season"

TDB True Life

yeah TDB true life (when you say that you have to hold your hand hand in front of your chest all fingers extended except your ring finger)

This week if you checked the podcast out you learned a little about the real life 'letterman' and 'thewonderwaffle'. Quite an evasive procedure. You heard our less excentric voices. I spoke coherently. Waffle didn't jump in a craze at every word I put emphasis on. There are humans just like you behind the untouchables you have always believed in. But no I mean there is one person and waffle behind it all. Trust me you could spot us in a mall.

MORE IMPORTANTLY
During XANGA EXCLUSIVE "real" podcast the phone rang... who was on it I don't know but I will speculate

Marilin Monroe- I was iming her one day and she said she would call me some time so we coudl hang out. I thought maybe it was her then I was todl she has been dead for 20 years. darealmarilinmonroe on google talk you are a fraud.

A fan: I thought maybe a fan was calling so they could be on the podcast... YOu know that woudl be so much for them

Kim JOng-IL -I don't know how many of you know but apple will not sell him an iPod. Tragic. IT is because the US put an embargo on that man not his country. I thought maybe he was calling to try to get us to send him one you know some TDB swag

Steve from Marlos taxi service: Ok that is a long story... But if your reading steve I woudl like to apologize for the monkey and the buttercream pie.

Telemarketer- I guess this is a small chance of this

~Letterman

The Wii

Wii

Notice, I did not say the “Nintendo Wii”. That would be incorrect. Because according to the Nintendo Style Guide: A Guide to the Proper Usage of Some of Nintendo's Products, the name "is simply Wii, not Nintendo Wii."

So don’t go around incorrectly referring to the Wii as the “Nintendo Wii”. Nintendo fan boys might not even realize what console you are talking about. They might think that there is a surprise launch of a new Nintendo console. They might run to their nearest Best Buy or Target to get in line for this new console the “Nintendo Wii”. They already own three Wiis and now they are going to waste their time because you couldn’t use the Wii’s name properly. So I hope you’re sorry if you’ve ever refered to the Wii as the “Nintendo Wii” because in our hypothetical situation, the Nintendo fan boys are not very happy with you.

And they know where you live. Because they’re smarter than you. So beware. Beware the Nintendo fan boys. They are coming. Coming for you. Ok, maybe not, because this is a hypothetical story. But if it were real, they would be coming for you. So be afraid. Yeah.

~ The Wonder Waffle

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

Good Ol Mel

Our favorite homophobic, anglophobic, anti-semite alcoholic is at it again. Mel Gibson is about to release another self-funded film, entirely in another language, and completely subtitled. In his new film “Apocalypto” he got hundreds of native Mexicans to star in the movie, using their own native Spanish, and in some cases, Myan language. This of course facilitates the need for subtitles, especially in an American audience.

This leads to the inevitable question: Is Mel Gibson, in addition to his alcoholism, also struggling from an addiction to subtitles? Is he simply unable to create a film that doesn’t have those thousands of lines of text running under the picture every second? I believe that this is the case. It has become so much a problem that movie studios will no longer feed his addiction. “Passion of the Christ” and “Apocalypto” are both self-funded projects. They both have continuous subtitling. Coincidence? I think not.

All this in addition to this stunning quote about Frank Rich, a New York Times columnist who suggested that “The Passion of the Christ” might inflame anti-Semitism: (to the New Yorker) I want to kill him. I want his intestines on a stick. I want to kill his dog.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2006-07-31-gibson-remarks_x.htm

Stable guy that Mel Gibson ain’t he?

~ The Wonder Waffle

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

Black Friday

Today is the day that everyone has been waiting for. Everyone went to sleep last night at a leisurely 8 o’clock, with stomachs stuffed with pumpkin pie and turkey, to prepare for the havoc that has already broken forth today. Sadly, I am not a participant (I have an appointment to get an ingrown toenail cut out, hey; someone has to make sure the hospitals make a profit to right?) However, the thing I’m sure of is that at 5:00 this morning, all hell broke loose in what is known as consumer and retail heaven: Black Friday. Black Friday gets it’s name because the day after thanksgiving is generally the day that puts retailers out of debt (the red) and into their profit margins (the black) thus: Black Friday. Here are just a few of the things that might be making stores go black today.

Xbox 360 – Remember that other console…? That one that people can still buy… yeah, that’s the one.

The new Tickle Me Elmo – For some reason people still buy this confounded thing year after year…you can get the same responses from a newborn-child. And those are a lot easier and more fun to get.

Gift Cards – For some reason, people go to the store early to get some great gifts, realize that they are already sold out, and buy gift cards…

Notice, the PS3 and Wii are not on this list. The only people they’re making money for is people selling them on Ebay.

My favorite part of Black Friday is the fact that you can watch on the news people fighting over “must have” items. And it’s sort of funny really. These people want to save an extra 10% on an item that they could just buy next week, and then they end up paying a couple of grand in hospital expenses because they broke their nose fighting over said item. Of course, none of that really matters because all of it’s on a credit card that they’re never going to pay off anyway. Gotta love America!

Myself, I think I’m going shopping tomorrow…

~ The Wonder Waffle

Letterman rocked black friday oh it was so great no I mean great I gave a big huge smile. I got flash drives, a deep fryer (wonderwaffle we will soon commence deep frying experimetns, a blender, a hard drive some 1 gig disks, a black eye i got from the guy from the labeler. Laughs at the people waiting in the best buy line that went aroudn the store and half way into the next store overs parking lot. A lot less sleep then I should have. The mad rush into stapples. If you were not at some shot gun start this morning I do piddy you.
~Letterman

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

Top Ten Things Letterman is Thankful For

This years list as follows

10. The local News at Nine- That way I can watch the news at nine and when ten o'clock rolls around I am all freed up to watch oh yeah the news on every other network

9. The Nintendo Wii- Now we are letting even the most lazy overweight video game addicted kids feel quardinated and sporty

8. Thousands of shades of off white- White is no longer just white anymore now you pick the white that matches the room the best opposed to white

7. Hypothetical numbers- I am very glad we pay mathematicians millions of dollars a year to calculate hypothetical numbers . You know what we are able to do with those hypothetical numbers- calculate more hypothetical numbers

6. The Daily Beef- just kidding I am not thankful for that
the real 6. People who spray milk out of their nose when they laugh- Where else would 4th grade boys find comedy

5. Freak Shows- so always remember how disgusting humans really are.

4. Antique Lamps- SO we have another barometer on how to look down on others

3. Carpeted bathrooms- Where else would we grow new diseases to study and you go to just love the feel

2. Ghost Whisperer- Hey Jennifer Love Hewet needs to work some where to

1. Pizza Places that are open on Thanksgiving- For when you inevitably ruin the turkey

~Letterman

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef

People who hate life

I'd say the most "life hating" thing you can do is conduct a "socialogical experiment". We all live in society, we all experiance society. We don't need someone to tell us what exactly society does in a situation. It doesn't matter. Because if we ever end up in a situation where we would need to know what society would do in said situation, we will already know because that would be reacting to the situation in real time. I think that was a run-on sentance. Oh well, TDB's never been known for being correct. About anything really... (Letterman says this was unfunny and garbage)

In other news, the Wii launched today. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure there aren't going to be any riots about this one. Every Best Buy store had at least 15 units, and although they may or may not have sold out their launch shipment today, Wii's will definately not be fetching two grand on ebay.

Yeah, after a long night of gaming, this Waffle's pooped.

~ The Wonder Waffle

www.xanga.com/the_daily_beef